The Gift of Presence

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I’m laying on the beach, having just cracked open another book about minimalism, when my husband who left just moments ago enters my periphery. I notice a huge smile on his face as he outstretches his arm to me and drops two cold, wet rocks into my hand.

“There’s lots of rock over there. We’ll go together when I get back,” he says before heading back to the ocean.

My whole body feels with warmth and I admire the beautiful stones. These are the moments that I live for. The things that really matter. What is missed when I am not living in the present. What a gift his little reminder was. A gift of his attention and thoughtfulness, but also a gentle reminder to myself to be here, now.

What I Wore Last Week

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Another week of outfit documentation! This week I made an effort to wear pieces I haven’t reached for lately and style them in new ways.

Outfit 1: Two Days Off Vicki Pant in moss, Universal Thread shirt, and Eileen Fisher mule slides.

Outfit 2: Two Days Off Two Days Off Okaasan Tie Top, Arq Tank Top, and Zara Jeans.

Outfit 3: Two Days Off Kaneko Dress in natural linen worn as a duster, Arq Tank Top, Aliya Wanek pants, and Jenni Kayne bucket bag (15% off with code GINAS15).

Outfit 4: Two Days Off Koto Skirt in black linen, Aurorei Yuna Top, and Kaneko Dress in natural linen worn as a duster, Jenni Kayne crossover sandals (15% off with code GINAS15).

The Best Pillows for Great Sleep

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A few weeks ago I decided that I had enough bad sleep nights and took to the internet for help. I went to Instagram to crowdsourced recommendations from my side and back sleepers. To my surprise, I was not the only one enthusiastic about good sleep and I got tons of environmentally friendly pillow suggestion back!

I ended up purchasing two of the Coyuchi Turiya pillows for my husband and I. Watch my review below to see how it went… spoiler alert, we are returning one of them and maybe you can guess why.

If you are interested in trying anything from Coyuchi use my referral link for $60 off orders over $300 (I can get a $60 credit too!).

In case you are interested, here are the some of the other back/side sleep pillow recommendations I received on Instagram. I choose the Turiya this one based on the many passionate endorsements I received in my DMs!

Gratitude Pages no. 2

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Another week of 2021 gone and all I can think about is how is September nearly over? Even the start of the year is a blur much less the spring and summer.

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Another few glimpses from my “journal” this week:

  • The courage to start fresh. Specifically, choosing to move to California four years ago, but also in so many other ways.

  • A quiet home. I love the peace. I grew up in a big family so I was used to noise but I much prefer a bit of silence.

  • Options. Sometimes decision-making can feel like a burden, particularly the big life decisions. But in actuality it’s a privilege to have options. To have autonomy to direct your life as you wish, what a gift to have options to do and to try.

Affirmations of the Week

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It was recently suggested to me to try out affirmations. I have to be honest, the thought of saying affirmations out loud to myself made me uncomfortable (although I love reading others’ on Instagram like the one below). And for that reason alone I wanted to examine why, first by trying them out.

My personal affirmation of the week:

I am tender yet resilient. I am precisely where I ought to be and what a beautiful place it is.

 

What I Wore Last Week

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Another week of outfit documentation! This week I made an effort to wear pieces I haven’t reached for lately and style them in new ways. It’s a bit of a test as I get closer to October (when I am planning a huge closet clear out!).

Outfit 1: Two Days Off Olivia Top in ivory over my Jenni Kayne slip dress (15% off with code GINAS15). Tree Fairfax extended half moon bag, and Wilder Maude slides.

Outfit 2: Two Days Off Suki Dress in clay linen, Elizabeth Suzann linen vest, and Wilder Maude Slides.

Outfit 3: Two Days Off Suki Top in black linen, Universal Thread jeans, ABLE Amber Boots (20% off with code GINA20), and Irro Irro naturally dyed tote bag.

Outfit 4: Two Days Off Kaneko Dress in natural linen worn as a duster, Jenni Kayne tee dress in sage (15% off with code GINAS15), my well loved Eileen Fisher mule slides, and my A.P.C. half moon demi bag in nut brown.

Outfit 5: A relaxed Friday repeat from last week. My Two Days Off Mioko Duster in natural linen, ARQ tank top, Madewell double gauze pants, and my beloved Jenni Kayne Shearling Slides (15% off with code GINAS15).

Birthday Photo Dump + Reflections

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Another revolution around the sun and another year wiser. The past year brought with it a lot more wisdom and a total reshaping of my priorities so I need to write them down to see if they stick.

But first, I had a quiet and lovely birthday. The celebrations started with another beloved Wysocki puzzle and the next day my guy surprised me with a trip to the Getty Museum. I’ve missed museums during the pandemic, and the Getty is one of my all time favorites. Being there reminded me of how simple life can be when I am not busy complicating it. A stroll around gardens, learning something new in the presence of some you love. Bliss.

Last year I didn’t celebrate my birthday. My grandmother passed away about a week before and I was in the thick of grieving. Her death has become an inflection point in my life. Through my grief I recognized that although she lived a simple life, she left the most beautiful legacy. Once centered on compassion and generosity. Over the past year since, I have been reflecting on what my “legacy” will be.

The answer so far is elusive. But between my grief and the pandemic I have become more sensitive to time, and specifically how I spend it. So I know if I give myself more time the answers will come.

The thing about time is that it is what you make it. I spend a lot of my time working, and work brings me a lot of fulfillment. But I take pleasure in so many other things, like learning about an obscure painting like the one above, which I want to spend more time on.

And of course most importantly, who I spend my time with. The biggest lesson of them all. This one I am listening to my gut about. Lately there is a lot less of who I should be spending time with and more of who I crave more time with.

All in all, what a year. What a blessing to celebrate in my own way, and here is hoping for more growth and happiness in the next.

Gratitude Pages no. 1

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Back when I was in college, and severely homesick, I started keeping a little journal with bullet points of things that made me happy each day. When I got sad I’d pull it out and read back how beautiful the little life I was creating was. I think without this small practice my homesickness would have resulted in me dropping everything and heading home.

I was thinking about this recently, and about the many times I have added gratitude practices to my daily routine. They are a powerful way to change your thinking over time, require your brain to focus on the beauty in front of you and find a way to push though difficult situations. I don’t have any particular reason to get back to gratitude journaling aside from it make me feel good, and I really love the thought of future me looking back on them. I really wish I still had 17 & 18 year old Gina’s first gratitude journal. I’m sure it would be full of things like, “my friend Christine brought me a cookie from the cafeteria” and “I got an A on my English assignment.” Little memories that meant so much to me at that time.

All that to say here is are some snippets out of my “journal” for September 20th.

  • My slow mornings. Taking the time to pace myself has helped set a calm tone to the day.

  • Seeing a friend this weekend just to talk and hang with her new pup. Bliss.

  • Affirming text messages from my sister, who intuitively knows just what to say when you need it most.

What I Wore Last Week

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Last week was a great week in outfits for me, I wore what I love and felt like myself! Here are my favorites (and why) with details.

First up, a beach look. I have been reaching for my Two Days Off Koto Skirt because it is light, easy on and off, and has the most perfect slits for that beach breeze. It’s precisely what I always wanted to wear on my “two days off.” And of course I wore my tried and true Joss Hat from my friend Candace’s shop, Selah (currently on a break).

The second look was what I wore on my birthday outing to the Getty. I added my Okaasan Tie Top over a black jumpsuit I got on Amazon of all places. My shoes are my beloved Maude Slides in black from Wilder, my bag is a new favorite from Cuyana (the Double Loop Tote I reviewed in this video), and my watch is my classic Nordgreen Native watch with the brown leather strap.

In this third outfit I was cozied up at home all day (bliss). I wore my all time favorite head scarf from a shop my friend Jakiya used to have, an ARQ tank top, my Two Days Off Mioko Duster in natural linen, and some old Madewell double gauze pants. My slippers are new and lined in shearling from TKEES, ultimate cozy.

I loved this fourth outfit so much I wore it twice! My dress is a relatively recent addition from COS, topped with my black linen Mioko Duster and Jenni Kayne slides.

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Finally, this last look is another version of the earlier beach look in different colors. I am wearing a Kordal knit tank I bought second hand on Instagram, my natural linen Koto Skirt, and my Joss Hat.

I hope you enjoyed this little round up! I am hoping posts like these will remind me of all the clothes and looks I like to wear! And for discounts at some of my favorite shops like Two Days Off, Cuyana, Jenni Kayne, TKEES, and Nordgreen check out this list. Some of the links there will give me a small commission if you do end up purchasing so it’s a win-win!

by Humankind Shower Set Review

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I have been using the byHumankind shower set for over a month and the results are in. I like them, do I love them? No, but I really really like them.

First off, the packaging is beautiful. The pumps are plastic and high quality enough that I can see them holding up for many uses. The aluminum bottles are lovely, lightweight, and endlessly recyclable. What would make them even better is if byHumankind had a refill/take back program. I inquired about this and they indicated it’s not in the plans for now, so municipal recycling it is. To be honest though I may refill these bottles myself… so in that note let’s talk about the product formulas.

I love the body wash formula, I have the tea tree scent and will definitely try it the bergamot next. With this body wash a little goes a long way. It lathers beautifully and downs’t dry out the skin at all.

As for the shampoo and conditioner, they do the job and smell great. I haven’t noticed any adverse affects to my hair but they aren’t spectacular products. I find myself still reaching for my Prose custom shampoo and conditioner. But if you aren’t picky about your hair care products these are worth a try. I personally think I will keep them on hand for guests because they are sure to impress with the scents.

All in all, I am pleasantly surprised with this shower set. For more byHumankind products I like check out these posts.

*This shower set was gifted, but all thoughts are my own

G is for Grandma

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One year ago my Grandmother passed away. It astonishes me how quickly time passes by, and even more so how much a person can change in such a short amount of time.

My world changed, when my grandmother died. I am a different person than I was a year ago, nine, six, and even three months ago. The grief has changed how I want to give love. Her absence has made me create space for others. Her wisdom and guidance echoes louder than ever, and I repeat it to myself until I can almost feel her beside me. There won’t ever be a day I don’t miss her, nor will there be a day I am not grateful to have been her granddaughter.

To mark this milestone I made a locket with her initial so I can carry her with me. I made a similar one for a dear friend who recently experience loss as well. If you are looking to make one I cannot say enough good things about GLDN. I ordered the oval locket with a 20-22” round box chain and had the photos printed at my local pharmacy using the template GLDN’s their website.

Our Chill Elopement

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Last month my partner and I got married! It was a simple affair (as one would say), and very intimate.

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After deciding to get married, it took us a while to land on what would feel the most like “us.” Eventually the stars aligned and we made it happen at one of the few courthouses open in California during this pandemic! I always knew I didn’t want the fuss of a big wedding. Instead we look forward to a time when it is safe to travel and spend quality time with family, in lieu of what could have been one big event. Everything from the linen dress I bought off a mannequin at the mall the day before, to my Whole Foods flower bouquet felt perfect. We spent the morning slowly getting ready together, almost like any other day. It’s these little moments together that I cherish the most, the mundane routine of life and partnership, so it was so fitting that he watched me curl my hair and I helped him iron his shirt on our special day.

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After our quick courthouse ceremony, a DIY photoshoot, and a lovely lunch al fresco, we headed to the Hoxton Hotel in DTLA for a staycation to soak it all in.

For a look behind the scenes of our engagement shoot getaway to Joshua Tree las year check out this blog post.

Cuyana Oversized Double Loop Bag Review

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I have a new and beautiful addition to my wardrobe, the Cuyana Oversized Double Loop Bag! This is the kind of bag I will love for so many years to come.

Cuyana’s ethos of fewer, better has come to mean considered our design, material, and production that help poeple develop a timeless wardrobe without sacrificing the planet or people (and bonus that it’s a female-founded company). Obviously this is something I relentlessly preach so I am very proud to now be a Cuyana partner. I decided to add the oversized double loop bag to my closet because I have wanted a sophisticated every day bag that is highly functional and will fit my laptop. After a few weeks of use I can say I have fallen in love with this bag. The large side pockets, versatile straps, and sof leather in particular make this bag easy to toss around like a tote with a major upgrade. And I love that for a leather bag, it isn’t extraordinarily heavy even with my electronics in it.

As far as how it is made, Cuyana partnered with a small, family-owned business in Italy to create the double loop series. I can see the skill of these leather artisans in the quality and execution of this bag. It’s been a while since I have raved so much about a new addition and it feels really great to wholeheartedly share that with you!

Check out my video below for what I am currently toting in my bag. Once update since I filmed this is that I realized my water bottle also fits perfectly in the side pockets so that was a bit of a thrill 😆!

Full disclosure this bag was gifted, but I never accept items unless they are something I would purchase myself. Ps- if you decide to invest in any of their pieces, use my Cuyana link and I can earn a small commission which helps me maintain this site and create content. I certainly appreciate your support!

A Healing Escape to the Desert

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Never did I think I would be that person who runs off to the desert when in need of some downtime, but apparently I am.

At the end of last year my partner and I decided to celebrate our anniversary (and surviving 2020) with a long weekend in Joshua Tree. Seven months later, I am so grateful I recorded some clips to help transport me back.

Climate Anxiety

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It’s gloomy in LA today, and given that a lot of the US is facing extreme heat I am not complaining at all. I can’t lie, watching climate forecasts that I have studied, or even simulated myself, come true is anxiety inducing and disappointing at a magnitude I have nothing to compare to.

I was recently told that anxiety often comes up when I am trying to control something out of my control. The remedy is to accept what I can’t control (apparently). But with something like climate change, how do we do that without becoming apathetic?

It is well know that those working in the climate field have a high burn-out rate. At least among my colleagues in the US. Often passion quickly turns to practicality, and before you know it you are a professional appealing to the most common denominator to get anything done.

For someone like me, idealistic and stubborn, working on climate policy solutions hard career. I was effective, I knew pretty early on that career would have an expiration date. Ambition and creativity are great traits, but persistence and patience are more valuable. I personally moved out of the public sector in favor of a potentially faster moving, more innovative entrepreneurial pursuit..

It’s gloomy in LA today, and given that a lot of the US is facing extreme heat I am not complaining at all. I can’t lie, watching climate forecasts that I have studied over the past decade+ come true is anxiety inducing and disappointing on a whole new scale. I was told recently that anxiety often comes up when I am trying to control something out of my control. The remedy is to accept that I can’t control it apparently, but that’s really hard when it’s an issue I spent all of majority of my life learning about and actively working to remedy. Today instead of dwelling, I am going to focus on the small thing within my control. Focus on what right in front of me. Recount all the progress made, even if it isn’t quite enough. And keep forging ahead.

Today instead of dwelling, I am going to focus on the small thing within my control. Focus on what right in front of me. Recount all the progress made, even if it isn’t quite enough. And keep forging ahead.

The Smallest Satisfaction

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My morning rituals have shifted slightly this season. I still find myself moving from rooms to room opening the windows and letting the daylight in. But I save our patio doors for last because just beyond them is my little self made haven of a patio garden. 

I’ve pretty much always lived in cities (NYC, LA, and even DC for a stint), and the fact that there are parks and green spaces throughout plus my family of houseplants tided over my desire for my own green (or greener) space all these years. But in the midst of lockdowns last year a private sanctuary outside the walls of our apartment became a priority, so we moved.

At first out narrow patio was just a beige stuccoed trough hanging off the outside of our building. But over time with the addition of a couple chairs, some plants, and outdoor tiles it became an urban oasis. Each morning I open the curtains and from behind the glass spy on my plants, trying to identify and changes from the day before. Excited to find new growth or greet the little creatures scampering through the foliage. But before heading outside I put on water to boil and grind coffee beans, still lurking on the potted blooms scattered across the exterior wall, table, and floors. Eventually my morning pour over is ready and I can move on to my most exiting ritual of the day, watering.

Somehow watering my outdoor plants became a routine I love, despite being resistant to it at first. I have been used to weekly or less frequent watering schedules for my houseplants, and even those I held on loosely too. But the cottage style flowers in their terra-cotta planters are not patient enough to be watered on my schedule. If I skipped a day or two they would tell me in their depressed appearance, quickly dropping flowers. And the seeds I was patiently awaited to sprout would remain dormant. So I made it my duty to water them each morning before I treated myself to coffee. Its and intimate thing, watering in the still of the morning, getting to know how much each plant requires, how much sun they likely got the day prior based on how the soil looks and feels today. It’s meditative and slowing. And now I couldn’t imagine a better way prime myself before taking my morning coffee. Sitting quietly in front of bushes of grateful flowers and optimistic seedlings, satisfied that if nothing else happens today I cared for something outside myself but for myself.

A Little Space and a New Perspective

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By now we all know life and running a small business is not as easy or pretty as it seems on Instagram, right?The story of this blurry dress pictured in the background (the Indya Dress) is a perfect example of one of many struggles I encountered last summer, a struggle that initially felt like defeat.⁠⁠

I had grand plans of releasing the new version of our Indya Dress along side our very popular Indya Tank last summer. I went through all the development of patterning, sampling, sourcing, etc. I even found a way to shoot photos during lockdowns and pitch it to you, our community, to make sure there was interest! We made waitlists and then got ready for production. And then slowly we hit roadblock after roadblock. It was a nightmare series of issues, not caused by one thing but just par for the course in 2020 when everything was tumultuous. After a lot of effort to push this new garment out into the world I decided to give up. There were too many other places my attention needed to be for the business so I decided to just let things unfold as they needed to and let go of getting this garment made in time for summer. And to be honest, I had a bit of a sour taste in my mouth about the dress after all the strife (poor dress, I know 😆!). ⁠

Eventually, the dress was finished. But we were already well in to autumn and again I had no energy to reshoot it (although I must say it would look fab with a turtleneck layered underneath). So I just packed the dresses in a box and left them to sit in the back of my office closet.⁠

Fast forward to this month, a year after I initially planned to launch the dress. My sister and I were making room for the new Yoko Capsule pieces and we open up the box. Olivia, who had never seen these before was baffled as to why they have been in exile. I tell her the whole story but I realize as I tell her that the narrative had shifted. I thought this was a story of defeat, but in fact it is one of triumph. Despite every odd being against me I still made these dresses, not on my initial schedule but I was flexible and more importantly I made an executive decision that allowed me to make many other beautiful things come to life last year. My sour feelings had dissipated and so that brings me to today.

In celebration of my realization and to give these dresses the homes they deserve, we are offering them at cost (of materials and sewing) in our Samples & Seconds sale! We hope that some of you find that this dress was just what you needed this summer and they remind you that victory is often just a matter of perception.

Comparisons for Happiness

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This year I have been reflecting on how the life I am living now was once just a dream for me. It’s a simple life, but when compared to other phases in my past it astonishes me how far I have come. This is a new perspective for me though…

A few months ago I became so fed up with my constant rumination on goals and ambitions that it was muddling my mind to the point of depression. I had become so focused on the future, in part because of the pandemic, that I could not appreciate where I am right now. My restlessness had become too much, I was constantly feeling rushed to get further in my life, speeding past this present phase. Fortunately, I recognized this feeling was making me unhappy and started the inner work that was needed.

While achievement is such a large part of my personality and life motivation, I recognize there is a dark side of it for me. Years ago I began practicing mindfulness because I can get so fixated on the future that I miss current life. And once I reach that future, I am yet again overlooking it to get to the next stage. I’ve never wanted to fall into the trap of never being satisfied with life. Instead I want to live a life full of appreciation for where I am at every stage and not simple when I’ve “made it.”

The way I cultivate this is by actively and intentional looking around me a speaking (often out loud) the things I am grateful for. At times it is simple the way the light is reflecting on the walls or the blossoming tree just outside the window. Other times it’s the peace and quiet of my home, or a beautiful piece of furniture I use daily. Or maybe it’s a meal I’ve prepared or the person in sharing my time with. When I stop and look around there are endless things that are right in front of me that I am so appreciative of. And the beauty of this practice is before long it happens subconsciously, my mind has quickly become accustomed to seeing what I have as opposed to what I don’t.

And when the gratitude doesn’t come so easily I compare my present, not to my future self or others, but instead to my own past self. I have so much that I have accomplished, and when I stop to think about it I can physically feel the pride well up in my body. I feel proud that I, as a Black mixed-raced woman worked my way through college, eventually and unconventionally received a graduate degree from an Ivy League university, built a fulfilling career and later bootstrapped a business, created stability for myself, found a healthy partner to build a life with, created safe home filled with laughter and love, and done the years of inner work to heal past traumas and manage my anxiety. These things, and more, when listed out are far more impressive than the bigger house or early retirement my mind may be focused on.

When I compare where I am today to me one year, 5 years, 10 years ago and more I can’t help but look around and realize I am enough just as I am.