Reflection

Eclipsing

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There’s some thing about an eclipse that physically reminds you that we are on a planet within a solar system surrounded by many other celestial bodies that are incomprehensibly bigger than us.

As much as I tried to resist the lure of astrology, I have been a low key fan since the days of monthly horoscopes in the back of Teen Beat magazine. I saw a post from Amy of @sistervillage on Instagram about the eclipse and new moon and it got me thinking.

In the post Amy asserts that the Aries Solar Eclipse that happened on Monday represents new beginning and as is an opportunity to boldly move towards your goals. It’s a time for reflection and doing the inner work to get there. The caveat being that in order for something new to come into your life, some thing (or things) need to be released. Specifically whatever has been holding you back. This is what piqued my interest the most. I’ve been reflecting on what holds me back from my goals and it always comes back to me. I get in my own way by trying to do all things “perfectly” all time.

In the past I’ve dug into my perfectionist tendencies and they are all rooted in the subconscious belief that I must be perfect in order to be worthy. There a a multitude of things from my childhood I’ve identified as contributing to this belief, but instead of rehashing that I am focusing on rewriting this script on the deepest level. Whenever a feeling of “I don’t deserve this” or “I’m not good enough” creeps in I interrogate why I believe that. There root of that feeling always dissipates after deeper reflection. Thankfully these feelings are fewer and further between these days, but not eradicated. Just a few days ago a stressful situation threw me into those feelings of self doubt but the recovery seems to be swifter and smoother the older I get.

This eclipse came at just the right moment for me. Like the sun, moon, and our planet, it’s a time for me to align with my highest self. A reminder to get out of my own way and continue doing the inner work as opportunities arise.

2024 Intentions

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2023 was a year of stretching beyond belief. I decided at the end of 2022 my word would be “Release” and true to form I took it seriously. I released many toxic tendencies such as my incessant self criticism (thank you therapy). With that I released the notion of perfection. Not only did I release it, I have a fondness for and may have even begun to deeply love imperfection. It is in the imperfections of my messy home, ever-changing schedules, and physical appearance that my joy in motherhood was found.

I’ve always prided myself in keeping a tidy and cozy home. It is core priority for me because a messy and cluttered environment triggers my anxiety. But this year I began seeing the little messes, like unfolded laundry, piles of dishes, and strewn about toys differently. The undone laundry meant more time cuddling and playing with my son. The piles of dishes were remnants of meals spent with my husband. The toys all about were evidence of a healthy, active, and curious little boy. My untidy home now housed a family of three living life each and every day. It is our safe place and sanctuary, but that doesn’t mean it must always be perfectly ordered and pristine.

Relinquishing my perfectly timed schedule was a bit harder to let go of. I thrive off of productivity and efficiency (my inner anti-capitalist hates to admit), but those are less possible with an infant in the way I previously understood them. Keeping a schedule was hard, and maximizing my days with many activites/errand/chores as I used to is impossible. Now productivity looks like taking care of my family’s basic needs without loosing my shit. It’s spending hours watching my son master a new skill and swelling with pride over it. Efficiency is hacking my day-to-day so it passes with ease. Gone are the days of being out the door on time and getting all my life admin done in an afternoon. Now I need to triage what is one thing I can accomplish today and feel great if that gets done (and come to peace if it doesn’t).

After a lot of reflection on 2023, my word of 2024 came to me quickly and with very little thought.

I considered what has been lacking in all the new abundance and learning of this year and the first thing that came to mind was romance. Don’t get me wrong, this year has been overflowing with love from myself, my partner, family, and friends. But romance has been in short supply. Romance with my husband, thats a given. Finding time to be just the two of us not exhausted and not discussing the baby is a monumental effort, but one we have been making more and more often. But also romancing myself as been lacking. Being a new mom leaves very little energy and effort for oneself and thats something I must address.

I read a definition of romance that described it as a feeling of excitement or remoteness from everyday life. It made me think of all the small ways I would add romance to my days pre-baby. Like trying a new cafe or treating myself to a massage. Lounging at home doing all the self care things like face masks, manicures, and hair treatments. Buying myself flowers and making arrangements to liven up my home. These are all romantic gestures I can give myself.

Here’s to more romance in the big and small ways in 2024. Wishing you so much love and joy in the new year as well <3

2023 Reflections

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2023 Reflections

My first year of motherhood has been the most surprising year of my life. I have surprised myself time and time again. I always knew I was resilient, but I didn’t know how patient and flexible I could be. I am a typical Virgo, I like things the way I like them, typically tidy and predictable. Two words not often associated with life with a baby. From Sami’s exit out of the womb to now, nothing has been as I planned or idealized. And yet it has all unfolded in an utterly perfect way. This venture into raising a human has stretched me in ways that impress myself. I have realized that the truth I held about myself is malleable, that I am malleable. And that a different reality than the one I envisioned doesn’t feel like a compromise or sacrifice.

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7 Things I've Learned About Newborns

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I first drafted this post when Baby Sami was a month and a half and I just rediscovered it. Those first six weeks were SO TOUGH so I am unsurprised I didn’t post it then, but now that time feels so far away. Here are seven things brand new mama Gina wishes she knew about newborns and the postpartum experience sooner!

  1. Babies are incredibly noisy sleepers! It’s alarming at first, and then it’s just disruptive 😆

  2. So much of the day is spent on regulating gases, and the rest of the day on fluids. Learn all the tummy massages and get familiar with your babies discomfort cues. A probiotic may also help if baby has chronic digestive issues.

  3. Laundry is as bad as folks say but you still can’t fathom the amount you’ll need to do. Create a system, quick!

  4. Now is not the time to be minimalist. Buy all the burp cloths you can store and anything that adds a little extra convenience.

  5. Sleep when the baby is sleeping is the best advice, let the house go to hell and clean up when they’re no longer a newborn.

  6. Lean on your mom/parent friends, they know what you’re going through and get it without much explanation. Don’t hesitate to reach out, you’re only doing yourself a disservice if you don’t.

  7. And finally, trust your intuition. Caregivers and especially mothers have evolved to care for their babies. You know more than you think you do.

A Bittersweet Goodbye

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Today I sent this email to my Two Days Off email list and it has me all in my feelings.

Hi friend, today I am writing you with some bittersweet albeit unsurprising news. Two Days Off is closing up shop.

I am sure you've noticed the significant decrease in mail and shop activity from TDO over the past year. That is because of all the life changes I have been navigating personally. If you follow my personal accounts already, you may know that I gave birth to a sweet little boy in January. The nine months preceding that were more challenging than anything I prepared for and because of that I had to ease up on TDO. Now that I am settled into life as a working parent (yes, I have a day job in the climate space too), I have come to realize my plate is too full for the new phase I am in and I have decided to close this chapter that has meant so much to me.

If you've been here from the beginning you know that Two Days Off began organically with a lot of inspiration and support from people like you. I wanted to do business differently and create a values driven company and that I did and will always be proud of. Over the course of my five years in business I have made life long friends, grown in ways I never would have without becoming an entrepreneur, lost someone very dear to who has left a gaping hole, and found deep fulfillment in motherhood. I personally transformed, and hope that in that process I was able to add value to your life in some small way.

With that said, I will be clearing out remaining inventory and wrapping up before the end of the year. Everything in the shop is currently 50% off, no code needed.

This may be the end of Two Days Off in its current iteration, but it certainly won't be the end of my creative pursuits.

Thank you for five beautiful years.

This Gina had no idea she’d be closing up shop anytime soon, but thats how life goes sometimes.

The biggest feeling I feel is relief. I haven’t been putting the effort Two Days Off deserves into it for a while now and it has been hard for me. Closing this chapter feels like good timing as I have entered a brand new one. While I know I could try to juggle motherhood, my relationship, my career, and this business I built with my blood, sweat, and tears (literally), I just don’t want to. I don’t want to juggle, I want to do less and enjoy as much of this time with my little one as I can.

10 Years Later

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As August comes to a close I enter my most reflective time of year. September has always been my favorite month, partly because it’s my birthday month, but also because it traditionally signaled a new school year and a fresh start. As a big nerd growing up I loved the start of school and the impending new things I was certain to learn.

As I’ve grown up this rhythm has remained and so here I am, today reflecting on where I was at this time 10 years ago. It just so happens I was on plane leaving Europe and heading back to the states to start school… grad school that is.

Late July, 2013 I packed up my cubicle, returned to my nearly empty apartment, and prepared for a month abroad. I saved up all summer, selling a massive part of my vintage wardrobe on Etsy. Not going to lie, some of those pieces I still think about occasionally. But nonetheless I was in a purge state of mind. I was 25, in the thick of my minimalist phase, and looking to feel free. And free I felt.

Over a month I bopped from Iceland, England, Italy, and France. I stopped in cities where I had friends of a deep desire to explore. Traveling solo was just the appetizer. I got into my dream school, and was about to attend my dream program.

September has always marked new beginnings for me, and this year is no different. This month I will officially enter my late 30s and I can honestly say this period of life, while the hardest I’ve ever experienced, is my absolute favorite.

And it seems only fitting that today I announced the closing of my business, the business that I launched exactly 5 years ago today. It’s time for a fresh start and a new chapter in the new phase of life I am in. I would say it is bittersweet, but knowing what I know now about fresh starts and the great adventures they can bring, I am actually more excited for what’s next than what has been.

Ten years later and September is still living up to the hype.

2023 Intentions

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I’ve been thinking of what I want more of in 2023, and also what I want less of. Here’s whats been on my heart.

More:

Candid photos

Leisurely naps

Asking for help

Reading on the beach

Cooking delicious meals

Searching for the silver lining

Letting go of what’s not serving me

Doing things just for the fun of it

Unplanned, quality time with loved ones

Less:

Self-judgement

Overfilling my plate

Acting out of “obligation”

Feeling guilty about silly things

Trying to control the uncontrollable

2022 Reflections

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2021 was a year of deep grief and growth for me. 2022 was my year of budding and patience. 2023 will be a true test of how much of that growth I can apply to my day to day.

This year has had a lot of “down time” while I was sick or just limited by pregnancy. This time allowed me to reflect on what matters most and the limitations showed my what is actually a “requirement” in my life and what is non-essential.

Recently, I happened upon “Kolb Learning Styles” which a theory that there is a 4 stage process to truly learning something: experience, reflection, learning, experimentation (and then back to experience). The experimentation, or as I like to think of it implementation, piece is the part I think I can miss out on at times. But it is the critical part where you take what you learned and apply it to your life. For instance last year I learned that I try to control so much of my life to create stability due to my unstable upbringing. And that often works for me, but at times I try to control what is uncontrollable and that can lead to suffering for me. So in 2022 I have been trying to identify what is worth trying to control and accepting what isn’t.

Along those lines, next year I truly want to implement the practice of putting in effort and then letting go when I have done all I can and trusting that my effort was enough. My 2023 word of the year is Release. I know that parenthood is going to come with some many things outside of my control. I am going to be working with a little human and partner with their own ways of doing things and I anticipate acceptance of that might be tough for me initially. But I am making it my goal to release the stranglehold I try to have on life and take things as they come. I want to summon the wisdom to know when I need to step in and when I can let others step in (or maybe even not). There might be a lot of “letting go” in 2023 and I am excited to see how that changes me.

My hope is that this year I will release the tension in my jaw, my expectations, the tight hold grip I have on my life and embrace all the unknown that is to come. I’m want this next chapter to feel like an exciting adventure. Much like when I started my business, I think becoming a parent will be this new exciting challenge I am totally unprepared for but eager to figure out. Only unlike with my business the goal will be to enjoy each day and try not to look to far down the line at specific end goals.

The Gift of Presence

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I’m laying on the beach, having just cracked open another book about minimalism, when my husband who left just moments ago enters my periphery. I notice a huge smile on his face as he outstretches his arm to me and drops two cold, wet rocks into my hand.

“There’s lots of rock over there. We’ll go together when I get back,” he says before heading back to the ocean.

My whole body feels with warmth and I admire the beautiful stones. These are the moments that I live for. The things that really matter. What is missed when I am not living in the present. What a gift his little reminder was. A gift of his attention and thoughtfulness, but also a gentle reminder to myself to be here, now.

Birthday Photo Dump + Reflections

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Another revolution around the sun and another year wiser. The past year brought with it a lot more wisdom and a total reshaping of my priorities so I need to write them down to see if they stick.

But first, I had a quiet and lovely birthday. The celebrations started with another beloved Wysocki puzzle and the next day my guy surprised me with a trip to the Getty Museum. I’ve missed museums during the pandemic, and the Getty is one of my all time favorites. Being there reminded me of how simple life can be when I am not busy complicating it. A stroll around gardens, learning something new in the presence of some you love. Bliss.

Last year I didn’t celebrate my birthday. My grandmother passed away about a week before and I was in the thick of grieving. Her death has become an inflection point in my life. Through my grief I recognized that although she lived a simple life, she left the most beautiful legacy. Once centered on compassion and generosity. Over the past year since, I have been reflecting on what my “legacy” will be.

The answer so far is elusive. But between my grief and the pandemic I have become more sensitive to time, and specifically how I spend it. So I know if I give myself more time the answers will come.

The thing about time is that it is what you make it. I spend a lot of my time working, and work brings me a lot of fulfillment. But I take pleasure in so many other things, like learning about an obscure painting like the one above, which I want to spend more time on.

And of course most importantly, who I spend my time with. The biggest lesson of them all. This one I am listening to my gut about. Lately there is a lot less of who I should be spending time with and more of who I crave more time with.

All in all, what a year. What a blessing to celebrate in my own way, and here is hoping for more growth and happiness in the next.

A Little Space and a New Perspective

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By now we all know life and running a small business is not as easy or pretty as it seems on Instagram, right?The story of this blurry dress pictured in the background (the Indya Dress) is a perfect example of one of many struggles I encountered last summer, a struggle that initially felt like defeat.⁠⁠

I had grand plans of releasing the new version of our Indya Dress along side our very popular Indya Tank last summer. I went through all the development of patterning, sampling, sourcing, etc. I even found a way to shoot photos during lockdowns and pitch it to you, our community, to make sure there was interest! We made waitlists and then got ready for production. And then slowly we hit roadblock after roadblock. It was a nightmare series of issues, not caused by one thing but just par for the course in 2020 when everything was tumultuous. After a lot of effort to push this new garment out into the world I decided to give up. There were too many other places my attention needed to be for the business so I decided to just let things unfold as they needed to and let go of getting this garment made in time for summer. And to be honest, I had a bit of a sour taste in my mouth about the dress after all the strife (poor dress, I know 😆!). ⁠

Eventually, the dress was finished. But we were already well in to autumn and again I had no energy to reshoot it (although I must say it would look fab with a turtleneck layered underneath). So I just packed the dresses in a box and left them to sit in the back of my office closet.⁠

Fast forward to this month, a year after I initially planned to launch the dress. My sister and I were making room for the new Yoko Capsule pieces and we open up the box. Olivia, who had never seen these before was baffled as to why they have been in exile. I tell her the whole story but I realize as I tell her that the narrative had shifted. I thought this was a story of defeat, but in fact it is one of triumph. Despite every odd being against me I still made these dresses, not on my initial schedule but I was flexible and more importantly I made an executive decision that allowed me to make many other beautiful things come to life last year. My sour feelings had dissipated and so that brings me to today.

In celebration of my realization and to give these dresses the homes they deserve, we are offering them at cost (of materials and sewing) in our Samples & Seconds sale! We hope that some of you find that this dress was just what you needed this summer and they remind you that victory is often just a matter of perception.

Comparisons for Happiness

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This year I have been reflecting on how the life I am living now was once just a dream for me. It’s a simple life, but when compared to other phases in my past it astonishes me how far I have come. This is a new perspective for me though…

A few months ago I became so fed up with my constant rumination on goals and ambitions that it was muddling my mind to the point of depression. I had become so focused on the future, in part because of the pandemic, that I could not appreciate where I am right now. My restlessness had become too much, I was constantly feeling rushed to get further in my life, speeding past this present phase. Fortunately, I recognized this feeling was making me unhappy and started the inner work that was needed.

While achievement is such a large part of my personality and life motivation, I recognize there is a dark side of it for me. Years ago I began practicing mindfulness because I can get so fixated on the future that I miss current life. And once I reach that future, I am yet again overlooking it to get to the next stage. I’ve never wanted to fall into the trap of never being satisfied with life. Instead I want to live a life full of appreciation for where I am at every stage and not simple when I’ve “made it.”

The way I cultivate this is by actively and intentional looking around me a speaking (often out loud) the things I am grateful for. At times it is simple the way the light is reflecting on the walls or the blossoming tree just outside the window. Other times it’s the peace and quiet of my home, or a beautiful piece of furniture I use daily. Or maybe it’s a meal I’ve prepared or the person in sharing my time with. When I stop and look around there are endless things that are right in front of me that I am so appreciative of. And the beauty of this practice is before long it happens subconsciously, my mind has quickly become accustomed to seeing what I have as opposed to what I don’t.

And when the gratitude doesn’t come so easily I compare my present, not to my future self or others, but instead to my own past self. I have so much that I have accomplished, and when I stop to think about it I can physically feel the pride well up in my body. I feel proud that I, as a Black mixed-raced woman worked my way through college, eventually and unconventionally received a graduate degree from an Ivy League university, built a fulfilling career and later bootstrapped a business, created stability for myself, found a healthy partner to build a life with, created safe home filled with laughter and love, and done the years of inner work to heal past traumas and manage my anxiety. These things, and more, when listed out are far more impressive than the bigger house or early retirement my mind may be focused on.

When I compare where I am today to me one year, 5 years, 10 years ago and more I can’t help but look around and realize I am enough just as I am.

2021 Intentions

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Each year I choose a word, or as my friend Elise calls is “One Little Word.” 2020’s word was rest. Naturally as the year played out this word came to have a different and deeper significance to me. I am not planning to do a “report card” for this past year as I have in the past because there is simply too much to unpack, good and bad.

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2021 Intention

no pressure hopes for the new year

The biggest thing is next year my word in abundance. If there is one thing I learned this year it is that gratitude and hope can co-exist with grief, struggle, uncertainty, and more. So my only intention is to foster an abundant mindset.

On My Way to NC

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I am heading to North Carolina for almost a week to spend time with my grandmother, dad and other extended family. I almost didn’t make this trip but sometimes your heart just tells you you need something and you are compelled to override your head. This is one of those times.

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